you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
