I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
