Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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