Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He shit in the fireplace
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
