My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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