I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
