I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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