We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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