My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
