Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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