I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
