u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
