We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
