google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
