just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
