my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
