thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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