$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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