can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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