Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
