Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
