I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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