There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your penis caused this!
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