i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
