Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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