What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
