come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
