Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
