i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
