I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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