with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
