Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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