That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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