craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
