That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
