Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
