omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
