if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
the raccoons are back...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
