Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
