Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
