I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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