Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
