I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
