I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
