Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
