I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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