Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
