I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
