And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
