i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
