We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
