He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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